How am I supposed to do that?
Posted: Mon Jan 27, 2025 9:53 am
Amazingly, the simple but powerful approach Voss used to diffuse this life or death situation is exactly the same one we can invoke in our day-to-day (and arguably much less exciting) negotiations.
The Tactic
In his book, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It, Voss recounts the research of University of Chicago professor and Nobel Prize winner Daniel Kahneman (author of the 2011 bestseller Thinking, Fast and Slow) (PS – both books are on my list of top sales reads!). In his work, Kahneman describes humans as having two systems of thought. System 1, our animal mind which is fast, instinctive and emotional. And System 2 which is slow, deliberative, and logical. When we encounter a stress, suggestion, question, or say, find ourselves dealing with all three in a negotiation, it’s our System 1 reaction that drives the response of System 2.
In the simulation Voss made masterful use of this principle and circumvented a potentially grave outcome by starting with a simple and logical question:
To which the kidnapper quipped, “So you’re ok with me killing your son, Mr. Voss?”. To which Voss replied with an odd warmth, “I’m really sorry Robert, how can I get you any money right now, much less one million dollars, if I don’t even know he’s alive?”. What happened next was akin to The Hulk suddenly returning to Bruce Banner form. The kidnapper became flustered as his emotional mind (System 1) began to accept that his request (System 2) wasn’t as reasonable as he initially thought. This catalyzed a more rational and level-headed response that led to the peaceful resolution of the standoff.
While in our modern selling environment we may not find turkey telegram data ourselves dealing with interactions with the same mortal consequences, we do often find ourselves dealing with objections deeply rooted in emotion. In particular, fear. Fear is one of the most powerful emotions humans conjure and, in the mind of a modern buyer, can spark all manner of objections. One of the most common manifestations of a fear-based objection is the all too familiar request for a reference.
We’ve all been there. One minute you’re driving along the sales highway, wind in your hair, running an amazingly blissful and frictionless cycle. The customer loves you, and you can even hear the faint rhythm of a classic 1965 Herman’s Hermit’s song playing the background. The next minute your customer springs this eye-roll-inducing request on you, causing you to blow a tire and wind up in the “reference ditch” on the side of the road. Heck, instead of asking for a reference your customer might as well have said, “I really like you and everything but I’m still afraid there’s a chance your solution won’t work for us and because there’s enough risk here, I’d feel more comfortable having someone else who’s been in my position tell me that everything is going to be ok”.
The Tactic
In his book, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It, Voss recounts the research of University of Chicago professor and Nobel Prize winner Daniel Kahneman (author of the 2011 bestseller Thinking, Fast and Slow) (PS – both books are on my list of top sales reads!). In his work, Kahneman describes humans as having two systems of thought. System 1, our animal mind which is fast, instinctive and emotional. And System 2 which is slow, deliberative, and logical. When we encounter a stress, suggestion, question, or say, find ourselves dealing with all three in a negotiation, it’s our System 1 reaction that drives the response of System 2.
In the simulation Voss made masterful use of this principle and circumvented a potentially grave outcome by starting with a simple and logical question:
To which the kidnapper quipped, “So you’re ok with me killing your son, Mr. Voss?”. To which Voss replied with an odd warmth, “I’m really sorry Robert, how can I get you any money right now, much less one million dollars, if I don’t even know he’s alive?”. What happened next was akin to The Hulk suddenly returning to Bruce Banner form. The kidnapper became flustered as his emotional mind (System 1) began to accept that his request (System 2) wasn’t as reasonable as he initially thought. This catalyzed a more rational and level-headed response that led to the peaceful resolution of the standoff.
While in our modern selling environment we may not find turkey telegram data ourselves dealing with interactions with the same mortal consequences, we do often find ourselves dealing with objections deeply rooted in emotion. In particular, fear. Fear is one of the most powerful emotions humans conjure and, in the mind of a modern buyer, can spark all manner of objections. One of the most common manifestations of a fear-based objection is the all too familiar request for a reference.
We’ve all been there. One minute you’re driving along the sales highway, wind in your hair, running an amazingly blissful and frictionless cycle. The customer loves you, and you can even hear the faint rhythm of a classic 1965 Herman’s Hermit’s song playing the background. The next minute your customer springs this eye-roll-inducing request on you, causing you to blow a tire and wind up in the “reference ditch” on the side of the road. Heck, instead of asking for a reference your customer might as well have said, “I really like you and everything but I’m still afraid there’s a chance your solution won’t work for us and because there’s enough risk here, I’d feel more comfortable having someone else who’s been in my position tell me that everything is going to be ok”.